Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I am not a freak!

Okay, that may be a debatable statement to many of those who know me, but I have many issues of late that make me want to scream this statement from the rooftops. So, here are a few points on which I do not consider myself a freak, and wish people would stop treating me as such:

* I realize that someday I will appreciate my great genes. My Dad is mostly Native American, my mother Scotch-Irish. And so, I will manage to look about 15 until I am 30, and at 30, I will finally look 21 and so on. But I have two kids, and I have been married for nigh on five years and if one more person says something like, "You are TOO young to have kids!!" or accuses me of being a teenage Mom, or looks at me like I am trashy because they THINK I am a teenage mom, I'm going to explode. This situation is NOT being helped by the fact that my dentist has referred me to the Orthodontist for braces. Apparently I am grinding away all my enamel during sleepy-time. Can you imagine!? Like it isn't hard enough to look this young, now I get to wear braces?! And of course I cannot afford the really nice invisaline ones. No, I get regular run-of-the-mill metal braces. I would just like to ask that people who do not know me, stop making assumptions about my age and ability to manage my household. The other day a woman in a gas station asked me if "I was sure I had kids." When I said I had two, she asked how old. And I said, "nine months and twenty-one months." She said, "Oh, they are not that big." As if this discounted the importance of my having kids, or explained HOW it is that I have had them. Because clearly, to her, I am only seventeen years old.

* I am a Christian. But I am not a freak! Why can I not make any Christian friends? Why is it that the friends I have that AREN'T Christians treat me as though I have the plague? I am a Liberal Moderate. I make sure each day that I show love and not judgment. I am incredibly uncomfortable with evangelism and proselytizing. But at the same time, why is it that an Agnostic can shout from the rooftops what they don't believe in, but if I mention Jesus, suddenly I am trying to convert everyone? And why such disdain? I respect a person's right to not believe or to not know what they believe. Why is it that I seem to not garner any respect for believing then? And where are all the other moderates in Wyoming? There's LDS, I know where they are. And there's super-conservative Baptists...They've already kicked me out of their church. But where are the others like me? Luke and I go to the UCC church where we are the ONLY two people under 45. And I like people my parent's age, but I would really like some friends with whom I have something in common.
Here's an example of what I'm talking about in my life right now. I was on a trip to SLC with a friend and a girl she knows. This other girl is a "friend" of mine in the way that we both know some people in common. We start talking about the Mormon church. I know a lot about its history. She starts going on and on about how much she hates church and how Jesus isn't real and how she will never go to church because she doesn't buy into the "myth." Great. But I point out that there is little contention about the actual existence of Jesus. He was a real person, even if you do not believe he was...A spiritual figure. So she says, "Okay, well then I certainly don't believe he was God. I don't believe in God at all. The bible is bullshit. I believe in evolution. I believe we came from monkeys." Again, I calmly reply that no one believes we came from monkeys. This is not even remotely a scientifically accepted form of evolution. To say we came from monkeys is an exaggerated form of Darwinism, and is certainly not jiving with the actual evidence of evolution. I tell her that actually, I believe in evolution. I believe in Creation Evolution. I believe that God gave man and life in general the ability to adapt and live in its environment in order to sustain life. She looks at me dead-on and says...I kid you not..."Then I believe in the big bang." WHAT? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT???? I wanted to shake her. That's just contrary! I JUST WANT NORMAL FRIENDS!!!!!!! And I am a normal person!

* Last night was the Fourth of July. I think most of you know I am not...Overly sentimental about my patriotism. I like America, I'm glad I live here, yada, yada, yada. But last night at the fireworks display, there were people standing and saluting the FIREWORKS while Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" blared proudly from their car speakers. People hanging out of car windows shouting "WOO HOO!! AMERICA!" And of course the people almost setting me and my family of fire while they drink beer and set off fireworks in the parking lot of the fair grounds where we have gathered to watch the spectacle. EVERYONE was drunk. I was glad because it was a family affair and lots of little kids were running around and I thought it was a pretty good idea for everyone to drink and drive. But really, people are CRAZY for American holidays. Give them an excuse to drink and blow things up while waving the American Flag and they are set for life. Seriously...Memorial Day, Veteran's Day, Flag Day, Fourth of July, Columbus Day, President's Day, really, any three-day-weekend. I don't think I am a freak because I do not put this kind of great passion into celebrating my "freedom." But then again, I think a good war protest is a good way to celebrate my freedom. Because I'm a damn, dirty hippie. But, I am not a freak.

I have more on this. I am not a freak because I choose to discipline my kids and not let them act like heathens. I am not a freak because I actually LIKE my husband and am glad when he is at home. I am not a freak because I have a good marriage. I am not a freak because I had two kids and managed to LOSE the baby weight by choosing a healthy life-style of good food and exercise. I am not a freak because we do not have cable TV, and I have not actually WATCHED TV in over a month. Overall, I think I am a fairly well-adjusted adult who makes consciencious decisions about my well-being, the well-being of my family and the well-being of others and my community. But what I am beginning to think is that in this place, in this day and age, that may very well make me a freak. Thoughts anyone?

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